Relationship

What to do if you have a fight with a guy? Reasons for the quarrel. How to make up with a guy if I'm at fault

Quarrels and conflicts are common for most couples. There can be many reasons why sometimes disagreements and misunderstandings arise from scratch. In this article, we will look at answers to such popular questions:

First of all

Any conflict can confuse you, lead you into an apathetic and sad state. However, first of all, in order to rationally solve this problem, you need to pull yourself together and not let your emotions conquer your mind.

As a rule, couples have quarrels on domestic grounds, due to heavy workload or excessive stay with each other. Therefore, everything can be experienced, the main thing is not to dramatize and not to succumb to despondency. Let's find out what to do if his girlfriend quarreled with a guy.

Main causes of conflicts

Before you learn how to apologize correctly, you need to analyze the main reasons for a quarrel with a guy:

Get rid of pride

Many girls ask themselves the question: what to do if you quarreled with a guy? The answer is simple: analyze the situation and not let pride take over.

Of course, no one convinces you to run away immediately after the conflict and ask for forgiveness (it all depends on the situation). But defiantly keeping silent, ignoring calls and messages, avoiding meetings and pretending that everything is over between you - all this can lead to sad consequences.

Sometimes it is difficult for people to go to reconciliation first, so if no one could overcome their pride in quarrels, then there would be much more lonely people on the planet.

draw conclusions

When answering the question of what to do if you quarreled with a guy, you should analyze the situation well. This will help in the future not to make the same mistakes and not bring your relationship to a critical point.

It is very important to be able to avoid conflicts, not to be provoked and not to piss each other off. If you feel that the situation is heating up, then just take a deep breath, lower the tone of your voice and try to move to another place. Of course, if you want to always have the last word, then this will bring much more problems. Quarrels in relationships should not turn into debates or into a game of “who blames whom first”.

Give yourself some time

After a quarrel, both of you need to cool down and reflect on your behavior - this is another tip that tells you how to reconcile a girl with a guy if they quarreled:

• First, do not try to blame, storm each other. Pointless calls and messages asking you to end the conversation, manipulation and the use of trump cards will not lead to anything good.
• Secondly, one of you needs to definitely cool down and make important decisions. Give this time, at least three days, to come to an agreement and peace.
• Thirdly, never be afraid of parting. You can’t make a person love yourself with pity and manipulation, so if you feel guilty about yourself, and apologies don’t help restore relationships, then just learn from this situation and try to move on. Of course, the first time is always difficult, but sooner or later all negative feelings will dull, giving you a new chance in life.

Don't try to use the ladder of abstraction

"Ah, he didn't call me because he's probably out with his friends or other girls." Don't assume. An endless “or” is always a killer in a relationship.

If you don’t know what to do, if you quarreled with a guy, then at least try to put your thoughts in order and calm down. The main problem is that girls forget about the humanity of the male. Guys can also suffer, feel pain and not know what decisions to make. However, stereotypes have made them closed, which is why they will not always defiantly turn on sad music, write to all friends about the problem and cry until salty tears begin to pinch the skin of their cheeks.

Ways of reconciliation

Let's answer another interesting question. “How to make up with a guy if I’m to blame?” - girls often ask.

So, you carefully analyzed the situation, remembered and reproduced all the dialogues in your head, and then came to the conclusion that you are the instigator of the conflict. Now think about how much you could offend your boyfriend: hurt his feelings, hurt him, humiliated him or betrayed him.

He ignores

Another problem that worries girls is that they quarreled with a guy, and he does not write. In such a situation, terrible thoughts always arise that the young man is walking somewhere or he doesn’t care. But this happens when a girl has a big fight with a guy. What to do in such a situation?

A guy with a girl, until they gain wisdom, will always face quarrels over trifles. But over time, both must learn to give in, to ignore the sidelong glances and bad intonation that used to be the main cause of the conflict. If you love each other, then remember that meaningless quarrels take away your energy, alienating you and building a thick, blank wall.

Women's friendship is a value that needs to be protected. Who, if not a friend, will support you in a difficult situation, tell a funny story in moments of sadness, rejoice at your successes? However, even with the best friend with whom you are in fire and water, a quarrel can occur. What to do if you had a fight, how to solve the problem? Let's keep a secret in the girl's circle.

What to do if you have a fight with a friend?

Many men believe that female friendship does not exist, and only they know how to be friends for real. However, we girls know that this is not the case. A woman's friendship can be just as strong as a man's. True, quarrels among girlfriends occur more often than among men: female psychology is so arranged that squabbles and misunderstandings among girlfriends are not uncommon. The fair sex is very emotional, so even best friends quarrel at least once in their lives. There is nothing wrong with this, the main thing is to make peace in time and not to transfer grievances into the future.

A quarrel between friends can arise for various reasons: with your best friend, you can simply disagree, be jealous of her boyfriend (or she is you), take offense at criticism, and so on. It is important to find out the cause of the quarrel and try to sort out the situation. Of course, at the time of the scandal, it seems that nothing could be worse, but when the emotions subside, you can take a sober look at what happened and draw conclusions.

Friendships can fade away years later, because people change and don't always follow the same path. However, if a person is dear to you, you need to make every effort to restore the old relationship. A true friend is a wealth that should not be scattered, so look for methods to overcome a quarrel and be sure to put up with a loved one.

Forgive your friends for minor offenses, do not be categorical in your judgments - this will help to avoid quarrels. Ideal people do not exist, no matter how much we would like it, but people who are close in spirit can be forgiven for small flaws.

What to do if you quarreled with your best friend: methods for overcoming a quarrel

If a girl quarreled with her best friend, then she always asks questions: what to do next, who should compromise. In any relationship, no one owes anything to anyone, everything is guided by the desire to be with a person. If you understand that you do not want to lose your best friend, then be prepared to lend a hand first. The strongest alliances collapse because no one wants to take the first step, but it's easy. Even if your girlfriend is to blame for the quarrel, then ask for forgiveness from her. During the conflict, you probably said a lot of unnecessary things to each other, so there is always something to apologize for. The first step in our time is very simple to do, you can call a friend, write her a message on social networks. However, never start to sort things out remotely, because this can only aggravate the situation. Invite a friend over for a heart-to-heart talk over a cup of coffee. Only in a personal conversation, seeing the eyes of the interlocutor and his reaction, you can dot the "i".

If the fair sex had a fight with her best friend, then the first thing she should do is find the cause of the conflict. Most often, this can be done by analyzing the situation. However, sometimes each side of the conflict sees the problem differently. If a friend is offended by you and you don't understand why, don't speculate, just ask directly.

The main rule of overcoming conflict is not to leave the problem unresolved. Good relations can be restored after a while, but if there are unanswered questions, then the sediment after a quarrel will constantly remind of itself. Accumulated resentment can cause conflicts to recur regularly. An unresolved problem is a time bomb, an explosion of negative emotions can occur at any moment and will be so strong that you will quarrel with your best friend forever. Don't want it? Then always find out all the questions to the end.

The resumption of peace after the conflict depends on the willingness of the two sides to compromise. However, this does not mean that you need to transgress through your own principles, otherwise it is highly likely that in the future you will always have to do so as not to offend your girlfriend. Give in only on those issues that are not fundamental to you, learn to listen to your girlfriend and put her interests on a par with yours, and expect the same from her.

What to do if there was a quarrel between you and a girl? There are several options. The simplest and most effective is to do absolutely nothing, expecting that the girl herself will come to put up; offer to leave on this note, that is, in response to the last D (farther) from the girl, make even more D, which will definitely work - the girl will whine and make B (closer) in response, apologizing. However, if you value relationships, before choosing one of the options, you need to figure out what exactly became the reason for the quarrel. That is, you need to solve the problem, and not leave it with your head in the sand.

Do not forget - the female nature is very vulnerable. For her, a skirmish is not a trifle, as men often perceive it. Girls will take even what a guy calls a joke seriously. You don't have to go to a truce right away. Let the lady calm down, and only then start acting, that is, if you offer her to leave immediately, you will not have a powerful effect, but if you give a couple of days to think, then during this time she herself will take the first step towards reconciliation, and if not, then he will think over the situation and start to get bored, then your “hit” will hit right on the target, and bring her to powerful emotions in relation to you, make her suffer and love more. In general, you need to build on how serious the quarrel is. Proposing a breakup during every fight is not an option. This technique can only be used once, otherwise your words will lose weight for her. And then, much more serious problems will begin in the relationship, and you will have to, because it is likely that she will want to break off the relationship herself, in all seriousness.

The reasons for the quarrel can be different, which means that you need to introduce yourself according to the circumstances. If a guy made a girl wait by being late for a date, that's one thing. But if a young man is caught cheating on another pretty girl, the scale of the scandal is completely different. As a rule, men make the same mistakes when trying to build relationships. These are the kinds of mistakes you should avoid. Read about it below.

It's no secret that analyzing his behavior, a man cannot understand what he did wrong. Therefore, the discontent of a woman becomes either irritable for him, or forces him to make concessions, bend over and make gifts. Either way is a mistake. Ideally, one should remain neutral.

As for scandals over petty things, why do they happen? Girls prefer to remain silent in most situations, because they have a subconscious desire not to incite conflict. And if, because of the slightest trifle, a girl makes a scandal, it means that there is no more room left in the bowl of her patience. To smooth out the conflict, a man needs to discuss everything with his other half at a meeting. Phone or e-mail are not suitable for this purpose. But you can’t bend, or vice versa, go too far and gesture - otherwise the balance of significance will be shifted, and there will be a crack in the relationship. There are some classic ways to apologize (if you are REALLY guilty) - decorate the apartment with balloons, buy a cake and a bottle of champagne. If you are NOT to blame for the quarrel, then you need to freeze a little, but do not gesture, and do not be rude to her. This will make her come to her senses, and make B (closer), after which you can make love.

If you do not immediately discuss the issue of concern and do not dispose of the problem, over time it will become the impetus for a larger quarrel. If, after the scandal, you no longer want to continue the relationship with the girl, then it is better to admit it to her right away.

Even perfect couples have conflicts. Arguments are an integral part of any relationship.

How to respond to conflict

We all react differently to conflict situations: someone considers them a great opportunity to get to know each other better and eventually become even closer. For others, a quarrel is equated with a universal tragedy, when life loses all meaning.

If you think that your quarrel is not one of those on which the relationship ends, it makes sense not only to make peace with your boyfriend, but also to analyze in detail the situation that led to the conflict. And it is desirable to do this together with a guy. This approach will help you better understand each other and avoid similar conflicts in the future. You will be able to understand the important traits of your partner. Such “debriefings” are very important for those who strive for harmonious relationships in a couple.

How to behave during conflict

Having quarreled, we are all influenced by emotions, mostly negative ones. Never, no matter how heated your discussion, do not allow yourself to get personal and insult the guy. So, if you later make peace, he will never forget the insults inflicted.

Feeling that emotions overwhelm you, it is better to stop. Explain to your boyfriend that since you value your relationship with him, you should take a break and cool off. This will allow both you and him to calmly think about what happened and not act in the heat of anger.

What to do if the conflict has already happened

Left alone with yourself, try to distract from your quarrel. The main thing is to follow the following rules:

1. Do not tell your friends about your quarrel. The fact is that when we are angry, we tend to exaggerate what happened, and the peculiarities of our memory are such that we will remember exactly what we said. In addition, by attracting a friend as an ally and telling her about the most unpleasant moments of your relationship with your loved one, you unwittingly assign her the role of a person who will constantly criticize your young man. It won't lead to anything good later on.
2. Don't try to find someone to blame. If it happens to quarrel, as a rule, both are to blame. And your goal, most likely, is not to prove to the whole world how wrong he is, and at the same time you are white and fluffy. If this is the case, he is simply unworthy of being with you, and you should not think about maintaining such a relationship.
3. Do not call in order to insult your loved one again. Wait for the emotions to subside.
4. Write all the theses that sounded during your quarrel, while omitting all the attacks on your and his address. Your task at this stage is to find out the cause of the quarrel and those points in which your opinions do not agree. At this stage, it is quite advisable to involve a friend or a professional psychologist to help. With their help, you can much more easily separate the primary points from the less significant ones.
5. Try to analyze as objectively as possible who and where made a mistake. It rarely happens that someone is absolutely wrong.
6. Further actions depend on your goals: it is one thing if you want to save the relationship, and another if you are faced with the task of proving your case.
7. Decide what you are willing to compromise on and what you want in return.
8. When meeting with a guy, refrain from reproaches and accusations. As calmly as possible explain to him your vision of the situation and carefully listen to how he sees it. Most likely, your perception of what happened is significantly different.
9. It is very important, when discussing the situation, not to get personal. For example, you can say that his inattention and constant employment are unpleasant for you, but you still should not call him insensitive.
10. Ask him what he sees as a way out of this situation. Also express your own suggestions that, in your opinion, can improve the situation.
11. Having come to a consensus, announce the adopted mutual decision. This will help make sure you both understand each other correctly.

After a strong quarrel, when emotions fade into the background, each of us first of all thinks about how to quickly make peace with a friend. Sometimes we don't even realize what we did wrong. The modern rhythm of life, stress and constant tension lead to the fact that frictions arise more and more often even between the closest friends. But if no recipes are needed for a good quarrel, then even for the conclusion of a bad peace, you will have to work hard. There are a few simple rules on how to make peace with a friend in any situation.

How to reconcile with your best friend?

This is the special case when it is necessary first of all to realize how dear this particular person is. You should not start “negotiations” when not all emotions have subsided yet. Experts give advice similar to family therapy: you need to understand that both are to blame for the quarrel. Even if at first glance it is not. It should be realized that there were mistakes on both sides, and therefore no one should be blamed. This is the best strategy.

Another useful tip on how to make up with your best friend is to do it in the course of spending time together. Let it be something active enough and with a good burst of energy. For example, often friends have common hobbies that will help to resolve any conflict and at the same time remember why it is worth returning to good friendships.

How to make peace with friends: large-scale conflict

But it often happens that one member of the company does not agree with everyone else, or does something that literally undermines the trust of all friends. Reconciliation in this case can be a difficult task, since group reactions are much more complex than individual ones. In this case, psychologists advise starting small and trying to restore good relations with those friends who are closest in spirit. There are always those. But you can use a simpler method: in order to make peace with friends, a simple and frank heart-to-heart conversation will not hurt. It is important to speak sincerely, without hiding anything. You should be prepared for the initial cold meeting and the negative reaction of friends, numerous questions and unfriendly glances, but if friendship is really important to you, all this is worth enduring.

How to reconcile with a friend at a distance?

Long distance friendships are just as complicated as romantic relationships. And any quarrel becomes a serious threat if there are thousands of kilometers between people. In this case, it is very important to go for reconciliation as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the “out of sight” factor plays a significant role here, so it’s not worth delaying. You can start with a simple message. And here the question arises of what to write to a friend in order to make peace and convey your emotions as clearly as possible. Psychologists advise: it should be something very simple, as personal as possible, but the banal “Forgive the fool” will do just fine. The first conciliatory message should be an incentive for at least a telephone conversation. If, for objective reasons, even this is a problem, it is better to give preference to writing on paper. Such a move will melt even the strongest ice between friends, especially between girls. If you begin to make excuses in your messages and “bend” your side, this will only lead to the opposite effect.

How to reconcile with a friend after a strong quarrel?

Scandals over an unfriendly tone, an ugly tardiness, and the wrong choice of football team are one thing, but often the conflicts are much deeper. Unfortunately, this is more common in long-term friendships in which the mutual connection is deep. In these cases, the approach should be special. To make up with a friend after a big fight, follow a few rules.

Rule One

It is necessary to realize whether there is a need for reconciliation. Sometimes it turns out that a quarrel reveals serious disagreements between people, their dissimilarity and even the failure of their relationship. And therefore, before starting the path to peace, one should understand whether this is really necessary.

Rule Two

Dialogue should be in the language of adults. No matter how strange it may sound, but many people forget about such a simple rule. Phrases such as: “But you ...”, “Always so ...”, “You are constantly quarreling ...”, “And yourself ...” and so on should be excluded. Often, because of such reproaches, the situation worsens further and quarrels between friends only get worse.

Rule Three

Keep the fight private. No matter how it unfolds, no matter how painful it may be, you should not try to put up with the help of third parties. This is obviously a losing proposition. You can only reconcile with a friend "tete-a-tete."

If you follow these simple rules, there is a chance to gradually restore the former understanding and make peace with a friend forever. However, be prepared for the fact that this can take many months.

Reconciliation is only the end of the quarrel, but far from its outcome. In order not to find yourself in this unpleasant situation again, mutual conclusions should be drawn. You can discuss the situation with a friend after the final reconciliation, develop general rules, if the quarrel was significant, draw certain conclusions. Such a conversation will be the right final point in the process of neutralizing the conflict.