Chemistry, biology and cosmetology

The child does not want to work. Raising a six-year-old boy Children 6 years old no more

Quite often, we hear complaints from parents that a 6-year-old child does not obey, rereads and arranges for any reason. How to solve this problem? First of all, you need to reconsider the methods of his upbringing, your attitude towards the child and the amount of time you spend with him. Remember that an obedient child is not a gift of fate, but the merit of the family and the result of your painstaking daily work. Of course, one should not exclude the fact that every child is an individual with his own temperament, character and opinion, but “for every cunning person there is a wise man,” as the Russian folk proverb says. Perhaps for this you will need help or advice from a psychologist, and you will also have to reconsider raising a child at 6 years old or look at his upbringing from a different perspective.

If you have a child of 6 years old, the psychology of his upbringing must comply with the basic rule: the amount of love is equal to the amount of discipline. In other words, love is love, but discipline must be!

You have love, but at the expense of discipline you need to try!

The child must obey the first time. For example, if you asked him to do something, then he should complete your task or try to do it without evading and refusing to do it. Your word for a child should be law!
The kid should ask your permission, and not do whatever he pleases
Conscious disobedience of a six-year-old child must be stopped. For example, if the baby accidentally broke a cup, then he should not be scolded for this. But if you broke the dishes while spinning and did not respond to your comments, then you should resort to punishing the prankster.
The child must himself eliminate the consequences of his bad behavior and disobedience to his elders. For example, he did not obey, spun around the table and spilled tea, which means that he should wipe it himself. Or he didn’t listen to you and took a big car with him for a walk, and then he didn’t want to rush with it and gives it to you. Do not take it, let it carry itself!
Parents and people close to the baby should adhere to a single opinion in his upbringing. Otherwise, the little one will manipulate them. Even if there are disagreements between the parents, then it is necessary to clarify the controversial points and agree on the upbringing without the child.
Dad and mom for a child should be an authority, which means their opinion for a child is a law. Only in this case can the obedience of the child be achieved.
Learn to say “NO” to a six-year-old whim, then he will not throw a tantrum for any reason, begging you for permission to do something absurd.

In addition to problems in raising a child, there is a problem that a child of 6 years old pees in his pants. For this age, this is considered a deviation from the norm, which means that the baby needs to be examined and treated. This disease is called enuresis, and it is most often observed in boys and quite rarely in girls.

Causes of urinary incontinence in a child of 6 years:

- urinary tract infections

malfunction or immaturity of the nervous system

- increased bladder activity

- heredity, i.e. pathology of the genitourinary and nervous system

- neurotic problems that traumatize the child's psyche: a difficult situation in the family (quarrels, divorce of parents), death of a loved one, problems in relationships with peers, fear, the birth of a brother or sister, etc.

How to cure a child from enuresis?

1. Seek medical help from a neurologist and urologist. They examine the child, write out referrals for urinalysis and ultrasound of the genitourinary tract, and, of course, prescribe treatment.

2. Methods of treatment: taking medications, undergoing physiotherapeutic and psychotherapeutic procedures, acupuncture, reflexology, hypnosis.

3. Parents should take an active part in the treatment of the baby, namely, restrict the baby in taking fluids before bedtime, organize feeding the child 3 hours before bedtime, provide everything necessary so that the child can pee in the potty on his own (turn on the night light, put the potty near the bed etc.)

Remember that yelling at a child because he once again peed is strictly prohibited! We need to help him cope with this problem and make every effort so that he is cured!

Health, obedience to you and patience!

Primary phimosis, in which it is impossible to free the head of the penis from the foreskin in a child of 4-7 years old, is the norm. It does not require treatment or surgery. Attempts to forcibly displace the epithelium can cause the formation of cracks and ruptures, and subsequently provoke tissue necrosis.

Seeking medical help is necessary only with, that is, an inflammatory process of the head of the penis, and a violation of the function of urination.

By the age of 4-7, in 92-95% of boys, the symptoms of primary phimosis disappear, and the head is freely removed from under the foreskin. Otherwise, the child needs to consult a urologist and appropriate treatment.

Symptoms of pathological phimosis in children 5 years and older:

The epithelium completely hides the surface of the penis, it is difficult to remove the head from under the skin.
Hyperemia, soreness and swelling in the area of the preputial sac. In a certain percentage of patients, purulent discharge is noted due to the development of the inflammatory process.
Urinary disorders. It is difficult for a child to urinate: urine first accumulates under the skin, after which it is excreted in a thin, interrupted stream.
Pain when trying to release the head of the penis in a calm state or in case of spontaneous erection.

ATTENTION! Hyperthermia, weakness, malaise, headache and other symptoms of general intoxication, which developed against the background of urinary outflow retention, indicate the development of infectious processes in the child's body and require urgent medical intervention.

There can be several reasons for the development of phimosis pathologies in boys of 5 years old.:

Scleroderma of the penis, deficiency of elastic tissue in the patient's body.
Infectious and bacterial diseases of the genitourinary system.
Injuries and burns of the penis, as a result of which the epithelial tissue is replaced by connective tissue, forming scars.
Non-compliance with personal hygiene, which can lead to the development of inflammation and the development of balanitis.
Genetic predisposition to the development of pathology.

The answer to the question: “Phimosis in a 7-year-old boy, what should I do?” There can be only one answer - take him to the doctor.

Varieties of the disease

The physiological deficiency in the development of the epithelial tissue of the penis is caused by synechia, that is, embryonic adhesions preserved between the epithelium of the head of the penis and the inner leaf of the prepuce. As the penis grows, the head pushes the synechiae apart, and its release occurs without difficulty..

Physiological phimosis at 5 years old can be the norm, it usually disappears by 6-7 years, but in some cases it can persist up to 9-10 years. It does not require treatment, however, it involves observing especially careful hygiene of the penis and observation by a urologist in order to exclude the development of secondary, that is, pathological, phimosis.

phimosis classification

According to the nature of the occurrence, congenital (primary) and acquired (secondary) phimosis are distinguished. Congenital phimosis is diagnosed in children at the age of 10-11 years, if, due to physiological phimosis, the head of the penis still does not open completely. This case does not require surgical intervention, but the child must be registered with a surgeon or urologist and, if necessary, receive treatment.
Acquired phimosis in a 5-year-old child usually develops as a result of an injury to the penis and is characterized by the presence of scar formations on the epithelium of the prepuce. be sure to seek medical attention.
According to the type of pathology development, the disease is divided into hypertrophic and atrophic. With hypertrophy of the prepuce, excess epithelial tissue hangs from the head, as a result of which it can only be partially opened, or it is not exposed at all.
In the atrophic form, phimosis in a boy at the age of 4 develops due to the fact that the thinned epithelium of the foreskin is too tightly adjacent to the surface of the penis.
According to the severity, phimosis is divided into 4 stages:
- at rest, the head is exposed without difficulty. During an erection, the prepuce moves with difficulty, the child may be disturbed by pain;
- it is difficult to remove the penis from the skin fold in a calm state and it is impossible when an erection occurs;
- the head of the penis does not open at all or is only partially exposed in a calm state. Urine before excretion may accumulate under the skin;
- the child is experiencing pain. Removing the head is not possible. Urine is excreted drop by drop or by an interrupted stream. Before urination, the preputial sac seems swollen from overflowing fluid. The foreskin is edematous, hyperemic, covered with cracks.

ATTENTION! With the development of phimosis of the 4th degree, the child urgently needs the help of a surgeon, since such conditions are dangerous with acute urinary retention and the development of intoxication of the body.

Photo

We present to your attention a photo of phimosis in boys 5 years old:

Consequences for the health of the child

Until the age of 12-13, physiological phimosis, like phimosis in a 7-year-old boy, which does not cause pain and does not interfere with the outflow of urine, does not pose a danger to the child's health.

Observe hygiene. Accumulations of smegma and urine in the preputial sac can provoke stagnation and, in the most severe cases, the formation of smegmolites - stones formed from accumulations of smegma.
You can not try to forcefully expose the head of the penis manually. Such methods can lead to tears and cracks in the foreskin and, as a result, to scarring.
It is necessary to control the condition of the foreskin: if redness or swelling appears on the skin, then you should consult a doctor.

In adolescents over 11-13 years old, pathological phimosis can cause a number of unpleasant consequences.:

Paraphimosis - infringement of the head of the penis by a narrowed foreskin.
Inflammatory diseases of the genitourinary system, which developed due to the impossibility of proper hygienic care. The urine accumulated in the preputial sac serves as a favorable environment for the reproduction of pathogenic microorganisms, and the increased pressure in the cavity of the foreskin causes the reverse flow of urine and the spread of bacteria along the urinary tract.
With phimosis of 3-4 degrees, fusion of the foreskin with the skin of the head of the penis develops - synechia is formed. For the treatment of such pathologies resort to surgical intervention.

ATTENTION! Paraphimosis provokes swelling of the head of the penis and causes its subsequent necrosis. In case of infringement of the head of the penis by the prepuce, it is urgent to seek medical help.

When should treatment be started?

If a child under 6-7 years old has phimosis phenomena that do not cause inconvenience to the boy, you should seek advice from a urologist. He will monitor the condition of the child and will be able to notice signs of pathology in time.

In addition, the doctor may recommend that the mother carry out special exercises with the boy, aimed at stretching the foreskin by hand. In some cases, the use of corticosteroid ointments and gels that increase skin elasticity is also prescribed. You can find an overview of the various ointments prescribed for a child with phimosis.

If phimosis persists after 12-14 years or passes into stage 3-4, then the patient needs surgical treatment. In this case, circumcision is performed - an operation to remove the foreskin. It takes an average of 10-15 minutes and has minimal risks of complications. 3-4 hours after circumcision, the boy begins to urinate independently.

With development, circumcision is impossible. Therefore, the intervention takes place in 2 stages: during the first operation, a longitudinal dissection of the preputium is performed, and during the second, its removal.

What to do during an exacerbation?

If the child has pain when trying to urinate, purulent discharge from the urethra or sediment in the urine, contact a specialist. All of these symptoms are indicative of a urinary tract infection..

This condition requires medical supervision, antimicrobial therapy and careful hygiene of the child's genitals. The urologist deals with the treatment of the disease.

The surgeon should be contacted if the child complains of pain, cracks in the prepuce, the need to strain during urination. This symptomatology indicates the development of secondary, pathological phimosis and is an indication for a disease or surgical intervention.

And adolescents up to 13-14 years old are a physiological condition that, as a rule, does not require medical or surgical treatment. However, a child with a similar diagnosis should be registered with a urologist in order to prevent the development of pathologies and, if necessary, start therapy on time.

Useful video

Tips for parents from a urologist about this problem:

The "First Grader Crisis," as it's also called, doesn't necessarily start with the school bell.

Some children "catch" him at the age of five, for others he comes to seven. Therefore, it is not worth focusing on age.

And I would not want to miss the beginning of changes in the psyche of the child. Therefore, we focus on other criteria:

Main feature- A sudden change in behavior. He was obedient - became a rude man. He told all the secrets - now he is hiding. He calmly stayed with his grandmother - now he follows his parents. If your situation is the opposite of the above, this is also a sign that your child has begun to change.

The emergence of fears. Especially frequent is the fear of death of one's own or close relatives.
Feeling of loss of control over the baby. A six-year-old child is the most creative in the ways of harassing parents.
Lack of interest in the game. The daughter begged for a new doll, and when she received it, she abandoned it or immediately spoiled it.

All of the above signs of a crisis unsettle parents, cause misunderstanding and irritation. However, there is a reasonable explanation for any, the wildest act of a six-year-old.

Fear of losing parents. Normative fear 6-7 years - "Very, very useful program"

Causes of Bad Behavior

It's all because of the spasmodic formation of the nervous system. Imagine that you just went on a rollercoaster ride. The soil leaves from under the feet, confusion in the head. The same is true for a six year old.

By this time, the accumulated experience becomes enough to understand that the world is much larger than previously imagined. And how much more? Where are the limits of this diversity?

If earlier it was enough to imitate others, to play, now it turns out that there are concepts that cannot be touched or beaten.

Attempts to do so result in a pile of broken cars and shorn dolls.

In the end, all the favorite things are left abandoned, and role-playing games are forgotten. This does not mean that the baby will refuse to go to the children's store, will not ask to buy something.

But now the toy is important to him as a status thing. He brags about it in front of his peers, he simply rejoices that he has it. The mechanism is the same as for adults who make a spontaneous purchase.

Another type of activity comes to the fore: training. The child eagerly absorbs knowledge. Interests - books, educational programs, research.

The kid suddenly realizes how small his horizons are. He has an unconscious suspicion that adults do not tell everything in front of him.

This is where the "stickiness" comes from.. Parents are not released even for a minute, all "adult" conversations are absorbed and analyzed. Attempts to occupy the baby with something else, "so as not to hang out his ears," end in resentment.

Since the world turned out to be huge, with many unknown things, fears appear. And these are not babayki with kikimors. The kid suddenly realizes that there are diseases, accidents, natural disasters.

For the first time, the thought comes that mother or himself may not be. Gradually, he will get used to this idea, but at the age of six, such a discovery is simply stunning.

Act! Or not?

What Not to Do

Firstly, adhere to the old model of communication with the child. The kid has changed, other interests have appeared, his horizons have expanded. If your parenting style stays the same, conflicts are inevitable.

Even the absence of open collisions does not guarantee that everything is in order. Sometimes it only means that the child is an introvert.

When parents dictate their will, he simply withdraws into himself, ceases to trust them.

Important to understand: a person seeks to realize that he, too, is part of a vast universe. Let him feel his own "I".

The second pitfall, oddly enough, is permissiveness. Some parents, having read the recommendations, allow their child to make decisions in all areas of activity.

Remember - this is just a child, he does not yet have a clear understanding of good and evil. Give him carte blanche - he will find himself another authority.

How to help your child overcome a crisis

Separate areas of activity six-year-olds. Determine what is dangerous for him.

This is a taboo area. Here prohibitions and restrictions are not discussed. In all other respects, a small person can have his own opinion.

For example, strangers should not open the door. But to congratulate your grandmother on her birthday is not “necessary”, but “let's congratulate, because she will be pleased.”

And do not insist if the child refuses to do this, no matter how shocking the decision may be for you.

Give him freedom of choice where he already has some experience: choose clothes for a trip to the park, come up with a menu for dinner from his favorite dishes.

But if you take him to the mall and offer him to choose a wardrobe, the child, on the contrary, will feel small and insecure, since the difference between the task and his experience is significant.

Remember: the ability to make independent decisions is being laid now. Do you want him to be afraid to take on new things in the future? Set him impossible tasks for a six-year-old.

Your ally is the school

A great help in overcoming the crisis is the school. In it, the child realizes his craving for knowledge.

He receives a lot of new information and greedily absorbs it. This is why children learn better in elementary grades than in subsequent ones.

Is your child not enthusiastic about classes? There can be two reasons:

the crisis has not yet come, the baby simply has not matured psychologically;
The school does not saturate with new information. This happens if he has already learned it earlier at home or somewhere else.

If it's not time for first grade yet, but there are signs of growing up, parents can help their child by paying attention to his education.

In this article:

At the age of 6-7 years, children are already quite independent. This is the time to go to first grade, which means that the real "adult" life begins. In terms of temperament, boys are already very different from girls. They are interested in outdoor games, cars, fights, football, etc. Well, that's not so bad, is it?

Now is the time for the boy to start building his masculinity. It is important that at this moment there is a man nearby from whom you can take an example. Father is the best. Raising a boy is not the easiest task for parents. It is imperative to choose one line of behavior so that it does not happen that the father scolds for something, and the mother forgives everything and fences off the child from everything. Parents will be helped by the advice of a child psychologist. Choose the right games, books and cartoons. This is the age when only the most courageous, honest and fair heroes should always be before our eyes.

How to raise a child

Your son is entering a new era of life. He is waiting for school, friends, communication with new adults. Now he needs a little different than before, the support of parents, education and the right example. This should be done by both parents. Of course, the ideal situation is when a child has both parents. Then the father can show him how it is to be a man, to take responsibility.

Family is the best example

When there are harmonious relations in the family, it is much easier for a child to understand the roles of a man and a woman. It is important for a boy to see how parents communicate, what they do together, how they solve problems. Maternal and paternal love have a completely different character, they teach the child differently. It is important that parents know how to strike a balance.

Who is in charge of the house

It is very important who is in charge in the house. This affects how the child perceives himself, his gender. Where there is a powerful father, "real men" do not necessarily grow up. Rather he can grow
insecure, always insecure. It is important here that the boy had a healthy example before his eyes.

If the mother decides everything in the family, then the children often grow up spineless. Especially if you have a boy. This situation is not only non-standard, it can even be dangerous for the correct formation of personality.

Of course, the ideal option is the golden mean. A situation where mom and dad make the same contribution to raising children and taking care of the house.

Who is responsible for raising the boy

Often what is missing for good behavior is a conversation with the father. The father must necessarily act as an authority for the son. You can and should take an example from him. It is important that father and son build
trusting relationship. Let's not forget that the role of the mother in upbringing is also very important.

Before teaching something and punishing for something, parents themselves need to agree on the style of raising a boy. Parents need to adhere to one line of behavior, otherwise the child simply will not understand when and whom to obey. It should not be that mom scolded for a fight, and dad praised.

Three rules for a healthy upbringing of a boy

If you ask a child psychologist for advice, he will offer three simple rules. They will help you solve many problems of raising your baby. Great for ages 6-7.

Dad should be a good role model.

dad has a baby
learn courage. You have a son, which means that soon he will realize that he is a boy. He will begin to copy the behavior of his father. At first it will be funny when a 1-2 year old baby tries to behave like a dad. At the same time, it is no less important. The desire to be like your father is logical and normal. For this, the father himself must be a worthy example. Actions, speech, clothes, hobbies - the child wants everything to be like his dad. So your little man will take the right guidelines for life.

A mother instills in her son respect for his father.

A mother should not transfer her personal problems with her husband to a child. Did you quarrel with your spouse? You don't need to tell your little son that dad is bad, useless, doesn't care about you. This confuses the child and gives him wrong ideas about family life.

Maybe dad comes home late and doesn't have much time. Or you get divorced, while dad will live far away. The son must respect the father in any case. What the father does right or wrong, he will have time to figure out later. Now this is his first and main role model. By respecting his father, the son learns to be a man.

Mom and dad together teach their son to respect women.

Respect for a woman
is what parents should teach their boy. Girls, girls, women need to be protected and protected. This will not make the son weak or vulnerable. This will make him a man. Respect for a woman comes from the family. Firstly, the son perfectly sees the relationship of the father to the mother. Secondly, you should definitely talk to him about this topic. At the age of 6-7 he will go to school. There will be boys and girls. With someone, he will even sit at the same desk. He must understand that he has a special role in this world.

"It's not masculine"

Let's not forget that men also have the right to be weak sometimes. From childhood, raising him in unprecedented male severity is also not an option. Parents need to be wise here. For example, you saw how your 6-year-old son tries on his sister's clothes or even painted his nails with his mother's varnish. This is not a reason to grab your head and think that the son is "not like that."

Children have a normal interest in our world. They are just learning to be someone. And sometimes they play someone. For example, now he was interested in what it is like to be a girl. He tried on his sister's dress. This does not mean that something is wrong with his sexual orientation. Of course, if suddenly his behavior changes, he starts
to say that he is a girl is another matter. Take him to a child psychologist.

Often the answer lies on the surface. In families where the mother is the head of the family, the strongest, most confident and aggressive, this can happen. For the boy, gender roles are shifting. To be strong for him is to be like his mother.

Or maybe your little man has a little sister? Then all the attention to the baby. However, he also wants to be the center of universal enthusiasm, as it was before. So he tries on bows, rubber bands. There is nothing wrong here either. He does this unconsciously, but for parents, this behavior is a signal. Pay attention to your son no less than to your little daughter. He really needs you right now.

Education through fairy tale and play

A little man needs manly games. The Pope should be actively involved in this. You will not make your son aggressive and pugnacious if you playfully fight with him. See the interest in fighting? Take boxing and karate classes. Let him learn from an early age to control his strength. Then you can always practice with dad, but already with knowledge of the matter.

Pick the right toys. Giving a 6 year old boy a teddy bear is not a good idea. He is most likely already
he doesn't want to play with them. Now he is interested in cars, robots, soldiers, constructors. Offer to build a house together or learn the rules of the road.

Fairy tales, books, cartoons, too, select the appropriate ones. They should have some kind of role model, for example, a hero who knows how to defeat enemies with ingenuity, show courage, and be able to stand up for himself. It makes no sense to show senseless shootouts and fisticuffs. Now it is important to form an understanding in the son: force should be used only wisely. It is impossible with the help of your physical strength or superiority to force those who are weaker than you to something. You can not be cruel, evil, cynical, laugh at the suffering of other people.

Discuss what you read and see with your son. Ask him what he likes about the cartoon he is watching. Try to understand which characters he is attracted to and why. You can educate not only moralizing and prohibitions. Through games, fairy tales and cartoons, many everyday problems are solved easier, and the child becomes clearer about how our world works.

It will be useful

What can and should be done to properly raise your son:

So you will instill in your son the right concept of values.

You don't need to do this

This is best avoided, especially with a child of 6-7 years old:

sleep in your bed;
ignore the manifestation of his I, personality and character;
be left without normal household chores;
choose with which of the children you can play and be friends, and with whom you can’t;
prohibit the manifestation of initiative;
protect the son from any conflicts with teachers, other children;
to make indulgences where it is not necessary, to patronize beyond the norm.

These manifestations of parental care only harm the correct formation of character.

Need to order correctly

Punishment is also part of the educational process. You need to educate and punish correctly. It's hard to get used to the fact that now the child has become an adult. A boy of this age can no longer be punished in the same way as at 3-4 years old. Now you do not just ban something, but clearly explain why you do it. There must be punishment, of course. But always before that, discuss the situation with your son. Simple rules will help you figure out what to do.

Without aggression

Aggression in words and actions will not benefit education. Without a special reason to beat, spank, pull the boy is not necessary. You can only teach him that all problems are solved by force. Who is stronger is right. Who is stronger, he can hit the weak. Such methods of punishment bring only the opposite effect. Do not be surprised if the child himself begins to show aggression towards relatives, other children, animals. This is the expected outcome of such punishments.

Slap on the pope
Of course, sometimes it works. Especially if a 6-year-old child does not pay attention to your words at all. But again, there should not be aggression in it, the desire to hurt. This is your "emergency button". The punishment for a misdemeanor, mistake, or bad word should not be associated with pain. Such methods form the wrong psychological guidelines for children.

Understandably, parents can be angry. Bad behavior, disobedience is very angry, sometimes you want to shout loudly, slap. Even just your appearance can be aggressive and intimidating. It's still a small child though. He still makes mistakes and learns, learns the world, communicates, interacts with it. Now there is still an opportunity to teach and correct. Bullying with punishments is a bad idea.

without humiliation

To humiliate a child, especially in public, is the worst thing a parent can do in any situation. At 6 years old, children, on the one hand, understand your words well. On the other hand, they cannot always distinguish what is said in the heat of anger from the truth. Leave all moralizing for a calm environment. If at school, away or on the playground the boy was guilty, then tell him about it. Be sure to say that you are not happy with the behavior, then discuss it at home.

Now the same
the age when important psychological mechanisms are formed in boys and girls. Their psyche changes, their personality also changes. They grow up and gain experience. The boy already knows and knows a lot. Insults and humiliation can greatly affect psychological and emotional development. For example, they will make you believe that he is worse than others, not good enough. This breaks the opinion of oneself, a look at oneself, a sense of self.

There may be punishment for misbehavior, but it must not harm the child physically or psychologically. Only then from your actions there will be a result, and not harm. Your upbringing will benefit, not spoil the situation even more.

The child is already 6 years old, do not forget

Remember that it is important for a boy to feel like a man. Your upbringing should be built in such a way that he feels his masculinity. He is the future defender
the head of the family, your support. He must be able to feel his role. Even if he is only 6 years old.

Your punishments must not hurt his thoughts that he is a little man. Therefore, think carefully about your line of conduct. Assess how the child develops, what he can and cannot do. Think in advance how and for what misconduct you will punish him, and where you can get by with a conversation. Somewhere you can shame a little, hint that men do not do this. In some situations there will be prohibitions, restrictions. Again, they should not affect his sense of self and self-determination.

Questions for a child psychologist

A child psychologist is often asked to comment on whether parents are raising a child correctly. Of course, every baby is unique. He has his own character, habits and needs. It is impossible to impose some kind of general model of education without attention to the individuality of the son. Here parents need to decide for themselves how they would like to see their child when he grows up.

Below are the psychologist's answers to the most common questions parents have.

My son is 6 years old, but he prefers to play only with the girls on the playground. This is fine?

The main question here is why he does it. Have you tried asking your son why he likes to play with girls more than with boys his own age? It may not be at all that your son is somehow “not like that”. Girls are more emotional and even at 5-6 years old they have more empathy. It may be difficult for your child to make friends with other boys. It is easier to make friends with girls, they accept him in the game. In this age of play
girls and boys are different, but children may well be in such a mixed company.

It is also important who is raising the boy. If mom, grandmothers and aunts do it, then everything is clear. He's just used to female company. The same friends are looking for themselves and for games. Of course, I would like that at the age of 6 the boy could easily find a common language with all the guys on the site. But do not worry too much, especially if he still has male friends.

My son (6 years old) can't make friends at school. How to help him?

Maybe he's just shy? New environment, new people, new conditions. Wait while the process of adaptation of the first grader to school is underway. And who said that friends appear like this right away, in 1-2 weeks? On the other hand, if you are raising a child very rigidly, then he may be withdrawn. At the age of 6, children are still highly dependent on the opinions of their parents.

Your words can upset him, especially if you often mention that he is stupid, unkempt, awkward, muddled, confused. It lowers self-esteem. The son may be afraid that new people his age will not accept him or reject him because he is "bungling, awkward and unkempt." It is better to remove such negative definitions from your communication with the boy. They do not add confidence in their abilities.

I do not allow my wife to punish a child, a boy of 6 years. I punish only myself, is that right?

Main,
not who punishes, but how. And for what. If you think that only a dad can spank a butt, then this is a controversial statement. So far, both parents have the same function in raising a son. Punishment in any case should not be humiliation. Mom or dad, it doesn't matter.

On the other hand, a mother can be very soft and often cannot be strict when necessary. Then you'd better talk to your son together. Show him that you both share the same opinion about parenting and rules of conduct.

Is it possible to spank a son as punishment if he is already the seventh year old?

It's better not to. By the age of 7, children already understand quite well why they are going to be punished. They have already learned many rules of behavior, even if they do not want to follow them. Now try to talk more, discuss. Of course, if the situation calls for it, you can spank the child. But it's best to avoid it. Now the boy already needs to be brought up so that he begins to feel like a man.

A 6-year-old boy hit a girl on the playground. How to be? Is it necessary to punish?

Depends on how you want to punish him. Spank in front of everyone? Hit him back? Aggression only breeds more aggression. The first thing to do is figure out why he hit the girl. Is it acceptable in your family to raise your hand to each other? When your son is wrong, do you hit him, spank him? If he sees such an example of conflict resolution, then the parents are more likely to blame.

It is necessary to punish, but wisely. Be sure to make sure that the son apologizes to the girl, asks for forgiveness. Then talk to him. It is better to let the father or grandfather, uncle, if there is no father, talk. Here you need to simply, but clearly explain: you are a man, albeit a small one. Beating a girl who is weaker is not right. Even if she is wrong, she called names, she was the first to start.

Being good parents is not easy. Very often you can hear from moms and dads complaints that their children have become uncontrollable, capricious and sometimes even aggressive. But nothing but love was invested in them. What kind of metamorphoses periodically happen to growing personalities? These age-related transitional periods are called crises, and one of the most difficult is the crisis of 7 years.

The specifics of the transitional age of the younger student

During the crisis period, the child behaves in a mannered, feigned manner.

Throughout life, a person experiences five crises:

at 1 year (occurs due to a misunderstanding by adults of words, facial expressions and gestures);
at 3 years old (the conflict of highlighting one's "I" in relations with adults who do not always accept the baby's desire to be independent);
at the age of 7 (occurs against the background of the beginning of a new stage of socialization - admission to the first grade and awareness of oneself as a person);
at 17 years old (due to the need to self-determine after a carefree and familiar school life);
at the age of 30 (associated with summing up the intermediate results of life, analysis of achievements and defeats).

Each of these periods deserves the attention and participation of loved ones, but at the age of seven this is especially important. According to psychologists, a child at the age of 6-7 years old has his social "I". Therefore, the baby will have to build new relationships with new people: classmates, teachers. And now he needs to receive a positive assessment of his actions, which he needs, not only from loving family members, but also from strangers.

Features of the development of children 6–7 years old

The game remains the leading activity for younger students

With the achievement of school age, the child experiences a powerful restructuring of the whole organism, which is associated with the intensive development of the peripheral nervous system, musculoskeletal system, cardiovascular and endocrine systems. This causes special mobility and activity of babies, but at the same time, emotional overstrain and fatigue.

Also at this age, a new type of activity appears - study. And if earlier the game was the leading activity, now the kid wants to feel like an adult - go to school faster. Although the game has not yet left his life, therefore, the education of younger students, as a rule, relies on this type of activity, that is, on the experience of children. At the same time, one should not forget that the nature of memory in a six- or seven-year-old toddler is involuntary. Therefore, the brighter the image of a particular concept, the easier it is for the baby to remember it. But it is still difficult for him to concentrate on one thing. And against the background of these contradictions of development, a crisis of seven years arises.

The main signs of the crisis period

Disobedience and aggression are key signs of a 7 year crisis

It is almost impossible not to notice the onset of the transitional stage, because it is most clearly manifested in behavior. The main features of the transitional stage are:

mannerisms in public, in the family, attempts to imitate the elders (relatives, movie characters, books);
antics (most often directed at the closest);
the appearance of restraint (a child at the age of 7 loses his ability to involuntarily - directly - react to certain events, now the baby comprehends everything that happens around him);
periodic ignoring the requests or instructions of elders, disobedience;
unreasonable bouts of anger (freaks out, breaks toys, screams) or, conversely, withdrawal into oneself;
differentiation of one's "I" into public and internal;
the need for recognition by surrounding adults of the significance of the individual.

It often happens that parents from this entire list pay attention only to disobedience: after all, in this way the usual hierarchy of adult-child relationships is violated, the baby becomes “uncomfortable”. However, this is a misconception about the significance of this manifestation of the crisis. Much more important is that a small person in this period needs understanding and care. And in this regard, it is better for parents to leave their dissatisfaction and try to help their child.

How to make contact with the baby?

Do not punish the child, always try to negotiate

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In order for the crisis age of seven to pass as painlessly as possible, adults should somewhat reconsider their relationship with the child. Psychologists advise paying special attention to a number of points:

Allow yourself to be independent. Of course, each member of the family has a certain range of responsibilities, and the child can perform them on an equal basis with adults. A grown-up younger student will quite cope, for example, with caring for a pet (putting food on a parrot, walking a dog, etc.) So he will feel that he is the same adult, that a certain side of family life depends on him. At the same time, sometimes remind the child that the main ones in the house are mom and dad, whom no one can replace. To make sure the baby is clearly convinced of this, arrange the day in reverse - parents will become children, and children will become parents.
Recognize the right of the child to the mood. The kid, like any adult, is defeated by emotional swings. He, like mom or dad, can have a day when everything falls out of his hands, he wants to be alone and even cry. In this case, do not bother to show emotions, and after a while talk about this situation, find out the reason for such a decline. Surely, this is a reaction to someone's unkind word or a problem at school, with a teacher or classmates.
Negotiate. 7 years is the age when the baby already perfectly understands the value of promises. He remembers what was promised to him as well as what he promised himself. Therefore, if you promised something - be sure to fulfill it, if this is not possible - explain to your child the reasons why the promise is being postponed, and also specify the time when you can fulfill it. Otherwise, the child will understand that the word can be violated, that there are no obligations that could not be circumvented.
Dose the pressure. There are situations when it’s impossible to simply agree, since the baby still lacks some boundaries of behavior (for example, you can’t raise your hand to a girl, an adult, or communicate with your mother as with a peer). In this case, of course, an authoritarian approach is indispensable (“We will do this because it is right. You don’t understand this yet, because you are small”). But the most important thing in the formulation of requirements is a calm tone of voice.. Hearing an even tone of mother's or father's voice, which remind the baby that he still does not catch everything due to age, the child's mind will have a desire to understand the reasons for this or that action, and this, in turn, will distract from whims and disobedience. Only you need to include this approach as rarely as possible, otherwise the child will get used to doing everything only under pressure.
Bring on a sense of humor. The best way to get a child to do something is to start doing with him. And so that he performs certain actions with pleasure, for example, washing dishes, look for funny moments in the process of working together (you can come up with funny nicknames for kitchen utensils or compose a whole story about the adventures of a spoon and a cup, etc.)
Avoid punishment entirely. Scientists have proven that physical punishment does not carry any pedagogical value. As well as psychological pressure. The fact is that the baby is obviously weaker than the adult, so he cannot resist the pressure. But even after doing everything the way you want, he will not understand why he was forced against his will. And subsequently, a person will grow out of him, convinced that the superiority of strength or age plays a key role in resolving any issues.
Give the opportunity to vent your aggression. To do this, you can, for example, hang a punching bag in the room or replace it with a pillow. As an alternative to a forceful outburst of emotions, you can crumple paper, newspapers and throw them into the basket. It is also useful to sometimes give the baby the opportunity to scream.
Talk to the baby. Talk to your child on an equal footing, talk about how you had such a difficult period in your life. Share your experience, how did you find a way out of the situation.
Take a break from each other periodically. If you feel that passions are heating up to the limit, the child does not listen to you, does not perceive, try to live separately for a couple of days. It is only important that you leave, and not send the baby. So in a familiar home environment, he will feel more strongly how much he needs you, and, taking advantage of the situation, it will be easy to find mutual understanding.
Load. Give your child special tasks related to the manifestation of creative initiative. This will prepare him for the new learning activity. Also, periodically engage in activities with your child: this will not only strengthen your emotional ties, but also add authority to you in the eyes of the child.

Video: how to behave with a child if he is freaking out and nervous

Any crisis is a difficult period in the life of a person and all those around him. As for the turning point at the age of 7, it is further enhanced by the fact that the child cannot find a solution to internal conflicts on his own. Therefore, adults should show all their sensitivity, love so that the crisis of 7 years passes easily and ends quickly.